Besieged by jet lag following a week in sunny Barcelona, Spain, I am up bright and early because that’s what my interrupted rhythm demands I do. No amount of lying in bed wishing for two more hours of sleep will change this, so I set feet to floor, take my adrenal supplements, throw on my dressing gown and head downstairs to write about love.
I enter the kitchen where my computer is set up and stand by the stove to put the kettle on. I hear a rustle of movement and look around me. There is no explanation for it. But I see something else … the unmistakable mark of love on Valentine’s Day … a gift bag of red.
Oh boy …
I put the kettle on and ferry myself over to the kitchen table where the package sits, left there last night by the man I love because he knew I would be up early and wanted to surprise me. Well, he has surprised me.
And I don’t know why I should be surprised. He has always been much better at this sort of thing than I. And lately, consumed by my need and desire to get well, I’ve hardly been able to spare a thought for dear Lloyd and what I might do to celebrate our love this Valentine’s day.
Well, that’s not 100% true.
In Barcelona I stumbled across a delightful chocolate shop with a window display resplendent in red and pink boxes and tins filled with confection. Naturally I had the brilliant idea of securing one of the beautifully crafted tins laden with locally produced chocolate delicacies for Lloyd as a gift for Valentines. He appreciates good chocolate and it would be a surprise.
And I’m sure it will be.
But when I look at the beautifully presented gift that now sits across the table from me, unwrapped as yet because I want to share my delight with the man who made it possible, I know my gift can only be a token.
The greatest gift I can give this man who graces my life is what he has made possible since we met 11 years ago, and that is the emergence of my “self.” And by that I mean the whole, self-aware and enlightened being he has made it possible for me to grow into.
When Lloyd entered my life I was very much a lost soul. Two years out of divorce and still at sea, I had made a point of staying away from men for a while to avoid attracting the emotionally-disconnected, self-centered narcissists I’d become accustomed to.
Lloyd and I were set up by three different matchmakers who all thought he and I would be a good fit.
I was unsure, at first. He was opposite to everything I’d been conditioned to accept from men from my father up. He was kind; considerate; selfless; healthily engaged emotionally; interesting and, perhaps most importantly, genuinely interested in, and concerned, for me.
How this man of wisdom and love came to embrace me and all that was so broken is, in many respects, still a great mystery. But he did, and since we’ve been together my whole life has changed for the better and opened up to new possibilities. It’s the first time any man has loved me just because “I am” and not because “I do.”
He’s the first man in my life who’s been intent upon removing obstacles from my path instead of laying them there. He’s helped me to see the light and come out of the shadow. He’s asked nothing of me except that I be happy and he always leaves the door open for this to be so.
And, of course, he paved the way for my horse, Bear, to trot magically into my life — the manifestation of a long-held dream that for many years seemed all but lost. A dream that I innately knew would somehow help to heal me — and Lloyd made it possible.
I am humbled to be loved so well by a man so true.
Love nourishes. Love heals, Love brings out the best in people (and our companion animals) and allows them to be free in spirit. Love forgives. Love is kind. Love is patient.
Lloyd is love.
Now what else could he possibly give me?
Happy Valentine’s Day …
Nurture what you love …