The Unexpected Goodbye

I have attempted to write this blog post three times and scrapped two of them. Why?

My mind and heart have been consumed with thoughts and feelings surrounding the loss, on Monday, of my dear little cat, Princess.

Just how much do you need to know anyway?

But I have not been able to think creatively about anything else, so …

Princess’ passing was not completely unexpected. She had been dealing with kidney disease for the past year and since last fall had been living on borrowed time.

Still, in the 10 months since losing my other feline companion, Oskar, Princess and I had bonded and comforted each other through our individual health woes. She was very committed to my welfare, curling up on my lap every evening through the winter and early spring to ensure I was getting the rest I so desperately needed. Heaven forbid I should get up for some refreshment.

Through it all I forgot how sick she really was. She hid it well … was so animated; so alive; so present. Her appetite, up until last week, so healthy.

But then I noticed she was becoming fussier. Eventually she stopped eating altogether unless I fed her by hand … and then ate only very little. She was losing weight when she could ill afford to lose anymore.

The trip to the vet on Monday confirmed my 15-year-old kitty’s kidney values were off the scale. There was no hope for continued quality of life for her. I had to make the difficult decision to let her go. …

Time with Bear has helped to distract me from my emptiness. I cannot be anywhere else in mind or spirit when I spend time with him. As you already know … he’ll call me on it … Still, when I am at home I feel the absence of my dear little girl. The house feels empty.

I shall not dwell on it. I’ll honour her memory by getting on with my life.

There is a silver lining to this cloud …

Miss you, Princess …

Nurture what you love …

Dorothy
Horse Mom

Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012

10 thoughts on “The Unexpected Goodbye

  1. I’m so, so sorry about your loss. I have two little girls myself, both 13 or so and I pray every day that they stay healthy. I know there is no greater love than are feline friends can show so I really feel your pain. She had your love and you hers and that’s all we can hope for. God Bless …. Tom

    • Thanks, Tom. It’s the first time in 18 years I haven’t had a kitty kat in the house. I’ll probably remedy that eventually. There are many out there that need homes. Princess would approve … πŸ˜‰

  2. Bless your heart. I’m sorry for your loss, but grateful for the loving companionship you shared. I agree with what Oprah says about animals being angels with fur on. My heart tends to get pretty wobbly when it comes to losing a pet/family member. My little black kitty is also dealing with Kidney Disease.

    Giving an animal a good life is a beautiful thing, so many times we think ‘we’re’ saving them when in actuality, they seem to always save us. πŸ™‚ Hugs.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words. I believe you are right … I always looked at both my kitties as little guardian angels. They saw me through some pretty tumultuous times and were very precious to me. … The vet told me cats are prone to kidney disease. Enjoy your time with your kitty as much as you can. The end comes too quickly … Be well, Dorothy πŸ™‚

  3. Dear Dorothy,

    How sorry we were to hear about Princess. My first little black cat, Peter, succumbed to kidney disease at age 18. Our vet, too, told us it was very common and, unfortunately, eventually very painful.

    Our kitties are such wonderful family members it’s a huge loss when the Rainbow Bridge beckons. They do, however, leave such warm and sunny memories to sustain us.

    Sending our sincerest and most sympathetic thoughts.

    With love,

    Barb, Teddy and Pepper XXX OOO

  4. So very sorry to hear about your loss. Still missing my two kitties after many, many years. Smokey (gray tabby/Siamese mix with crossed blue eyes) and Madame Pele (a tortoiseshell aptly named after Hawaii’s fiery volcano goddess), 18 and 21, kidney disease and cancer, respectfully. Even with long cat lives, they leave us too soon. Anytime would be too soon.

    • It’s been two weeks now since Princess left. I still find myself looking for her to jump on my lap or drink from the glass beside the bathroom sink. As you are well aware loss is not easily overcome. I’m hoping to get a couple of kittens soon. So many need homes and there is room in my heart … Take care, Dorothy πŸ™‚

  5. That was a lovely tribute. I have tears in my eyes right now as I’ve recently lost my dog. Slowly things will get better.

    • Thanks for visiting and for your comment. I’m sad to read that you too are going through the dreadful pangs of loss. You’re right, of course, this too shall pass, but when you’re in the thick of it this sentiment offers little comfort. Haven’t been feeling well this morning and found myself waiting for Princess to jump into my lap to keep me company. My Rough Collie took it upon herself to fulfill that role. Somehow she thinks she’s a lap dog. This makes me smile. Animals know … Be well … Dorothy πŸ™‚

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