The Unexpected Goodbye

I have attempted to write this blog post three times and scrapped two of them. Why?

My mind and heart have been consumed with thoughts and feelings surrounding the loss, on Monday, of my dear little cat, Princess.

Just how much do you need to know anyway?

But I have not been able to think creatively about anything else, so …

Princess’ passing was not completely unexpected. She had been dealing with kidney disease for the past year and since last fall had been living on borrowed time.

Still, in the 10 months since losing my other feline companion, Oskar, Princess and I had bonded and comforted each other through our individual health woes. She was very committed to my welfare, curling up on my lap every evening through the winter and early spring to ensure I was getting the rest I so desperately needed. Heaven forbid I should get up for some refreshment.

Through it all I forgot how sick she really was. She hid it well … was so animated; so alive; so present. Her appetite, up until last week, so healthy.

But then I noticed she was becoming fussier. Eventually she stopped eating altogether unless I fed her by hand … and then ate only very little. She was losing weight when she could ill afford to lose anymore.

The trip to the vet on Monday confirmed my 15-year-old kitty’s kidney values were off the scale. There was no hope for continued quality of life for her. I had to make the difficult decision to let her go. …

Time with Bear has helped to distract me from my emptiness. I cannot be anywhere else in mind or spirit when I spend time with him. As you already know … he’ll call me on it … Still, when I am at home I feel the absence of my dear little girl. The house feels empty.

I shall not dwell on it. I’ll honour her memory by getting on with my life.

There is a silver lining to this cloud …

Miss you, Princess …

Nurture what you love …

Dorothy
Horse Mom

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